Having seasons of not thriving isn’t a personal failure. It makes sense to not be thriving while the world around us is holding so much tension, so much chaos, so much challenge. It makes sense to not be thriving in the middle of a deep identity shift, a complete metamorphosis, an integration of what feels like a whole new life. It makes sense to not be thriving in the middle of my least favorite season (sorry, summer lovers). It makes sense to not be thriving in an ongoing pandemic (no matter how beyond it our world is). In actuality, it makes sense to not be thriving in the first year of motherhood, as my body and brain adjust in a massive way. The society we live in associates thriving with capitalistic standards of success, with individualistic models of growth, and with ideas about humanity that go against our natural rhythms, our nature, our ebbs and flows. We create so much more pain for ourselves when we assume we’re falling short of our own impossible expectations - for not being able to thrive 100% of the time, no matter what.Īnd part of what creates this problem is the society we live in - not ourselves. I’ve realized the problem isn’t that I’m not thriving, though the problem is when I at times believe I’m supposed to be thriving - that if I’m not thriving, something must be off. I imagine there are lots of you who might relate - who might not be thriving right now, whatever that means. I’m looking forward to the next season where those things feel true, but right now they just aren’t. I’m not earning more money than ever, or “glowing”, or the most successful/in shape/happy I’ve ever been. I’m not gaining traction on my goals or moving in a continuous upward trajectory. The moon and its friends, Joshua Tree 2017.
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